don’t ever let this die
My roommate and I are really sick and we look like shit, but we were hungry so we ordered pizza.
But we didn’t want anyone to see us, so we asked them over the phone if we can leave the money on the door and they can just drop off the pizza.
The guy said sure.
So we decided to leave a nice little note
and we hung it above the door bell. I hope they like it!
pizza spelt its own name wrong
some ppls urls r so stupid smh
don’t buy colgate whitening toothpaste
it says guaranteed whiteness in 14 days
15 days have come and gone
and i am still asian
Who’s ready to hear the best joke ever? Ok *clears throat*
A rich snail goes into a car shop, picks out a super fast car, and says “I want a big S painted on the right side, the left side, the front, the back, I want big S’s everywhere.” And the car painter asks “Why?” And the snail says “Because when I pass people on the road I want them to point at me and say ‘Wow! Look at that escargot!”
you had me at rich snail
i always forget guys have armpit hair so when they lift their arms up it always scares me it’s like BAM WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE